My Heart Was Full In Between Of The Azure Sky and An Endless Ocean

“I always remind myself that everything I have is someday gonna be gone…”

I am going to write a prelude that can remind us of something important: If you now have three main opportunities which are money, health and time, and you still have your parents beside you, and you’ve been planning to travel together but your heart is in fickle, shift everything and go. Go to places and spend time together. Do those things that are simply beautiful, that you can’t do when you’re working late for some deadlines. Those things will be remembered and leave smiles when you see the pictures. When you still have time to create memories with your loved ones, do it. Time is ticking faster than you think.

If there is one thing I regret the most now is the fact that when my dad was alive and I had the money, I didn’t go places with him. We had the time but I didn’t have das Bewusstsein. Neither having a family vacation nor just the two of us. It leaves that endless sorrow deep in my heart. It marks in my mind that every single opportunity I have at the moment, to create more and more memories, with beloved ones, I will must do it. Every year I’m home, I always try to make time travelling with my mom. Taking her to places as many as possible, to a proper hotel where she enjoys the bed and view, to her favourite restaurant where she always orders the same menu with warm tea in a red pot, to those night markets where she smiles every time she has her favourite street food, cherishes the time we have together.

The time I had two months in Indonesia, among my excitement to do my own things, my “hello-why-am-I-working-at-home-when-I’m-on-leave” job, and my mom’s house renovation which requires a lot of money (yet it is exciting at the same time), I was excited that I chose to take the risk. I must say it wasn’t really easy this time, since I had to think about each bill I would spend for the vacation and the big plan for the renovation. When I flew back to Indonesia, what I had in mind was actually to do a minor renovation for her kitchen and bathroom by modifying it for a spacious space. Yet, it was such a dream when I stood in front of the small building and saw that the structure had been wholly taken down. It was such a dream indeed. The renovation is going on as I am writing this sentence, I believe that my late dad is smiling above about that. It’s such a thing he would love to do to see his house being renovated.

Before I flew to Indonesia, I had a plan to Labuan Bajo, island-hopping to Padar Island and nearby before going back and spending the last 2 days at Ayana. But I considered the fact that it wouldn’t be easy for my mom to climb the hill even though she would love it. I always took my mom to those I called “easy-peasy” travel destinations such as Bali and Batu (many times!) so why didn’t I try the further and calmer island with no hassle instead? Lombok was the choice.

The day I sat in front of my iMac booking for the resorts, looking for flights, and browsing where to eat, it reminded me that vacation planning is an exciting thing to do. I smiled at the end when I completed the payment and set the date: the twentieth of July, twenty twenty-three :)

We flew for an hour and five minutes from Surabaya and landed on Lombok by one in the afternoon. I got a rental car with a driver right at the airport and drove straight to Senggigi. Along the road, my first impression was Lombok was surprisingly calmer and cleaner than Bali, indeed. After almost an hour of driving, we landed in the resort where uncountable lofty coconut trees and the azure sky welcomed us. I just loved the fact that we had the slow type of vacation I imagined during our 2-night stay. Breakfast in the morning, relaxing doing nothing by the pool, napping, pampering eyes for the golden hour by the beach, chilling in the cottage for the rest of the day, on repeat.

I took the risk by sharing our stays in Lombok with two different resorts. The only thing I was worried about was the fact that how we packed our belongings in our luggage, had to be as simple as possible so it wouldn’t take too much time to unpack and repack. I honestly didn’t check the distance between Holiday Resort and Avila until I was in the car when we almost arrived at Holiday Resort on our first day. I was relieved by the fact that it wasn’t that far :)

I planned the trip without any island hopping to Gili Trawangan etc. because I wanted us to have a relaxing holiday. I did go to places on our past family vacation when I had to manage everyone and everything as if I was a travel planner and damn, it was exhausting. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that for our Lombok trip, but to enjoy every second we had with simple things and create memories.

The day I saw the design of Royal Avila on Booking(dot)com, I said to myself that I would try to pay a visit even for just one night. I didn’t even bother to read reviews but tried to picture how picturesque the balcony of the room that faces the ocean was. When you spend money on a fancy hotel or resort, wouldn’t you pamper your eyes too and capture as many as possible with your camera? Recording videos of sunsets and the shades of blue of the ocean? :) If I go places when on vacation, I choose a decent hotel where I can still sleep comfortably. But when it’s for a staycation in a fancy hotel or resort, I will use the facilities as much as possible, taking naps on a super comfortable bed on Monday when others are working :)

What I loved about our stay in Avila was the fact that the resort was so pretty, it was as picturesque as what I saw on the screen. The receptionist was so welcome, the blue ocean omg I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing my iPhone from my tote bag while we were waiting for our check-in time. They welcomed us with cold lemongrass tea, it was a good start for an unforgettable stay. It’s a new resort so everything we saw was a beaut. I wanted to have the suite room for myself when I booked online but then I thought “The difference could be saved for my mom’s new kitchen set!” I mean? :) everything I have been doing recently must be mathematically wise ((fancy kitchen set is expensive omg))). Little did I know that a little magic happened when I sat and heard, “We are giving you a room upgrade for one, to an Ocean Premier room, where you will have a bath up.” at no additional cost :)

I was so stoked at the end of the trip that we had good times while we still had it, and the fact that I invested the value of my money in something I wished for: an unforgettable beautiful memory :)

I’ll share the room I stayed in at Royal Avila on a separate post cause I have so many :) so this post won’t be too long :) If you wonder, all shots were taken with an iPhone 12 Pro Max with no edits :)

Hits Different. Oh, Hits The Same!


And indeed, it feels, it hits the same. Every time someone faces a thing called “see you again…”, there is always a little melancholia behind every smile. And somehow, when you do try to fake a smile, it feels broken inside.


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Hits Different. Oh, Hits The Same!

It’s me, hi! writing this short note just a few hours before I fly again to another part of the globe.

Yes, I have just a few hours left to complete the sixty days I have this year for my annual leave. This time around, there was nothing like flying to another country for vacation yet I did go to some places in the country. And I was totally fine! I used to think for a week in Kyoto, or even Marrakech. The best part of the short vacation was spending it with my family and it was to Lombok (my first time there and I loved it, will post it in a separate post!). Postponing again for my own-house renovation because my mom said, “Do mine first” and I said “Okay” (truly, I won’t blame you for rolling your eyes every time I write “my own house” because yes, a few years doing nothing and now it’s postponed again). I did manage to visit my house a few days ago, and every time I am standing in front of it I am always laughing. It is too bad ignoring it for years but well, let’s see if the fortunes are on my side very soon :) Eating quite a lot of Indonesian food even though everyone says that I am getting bigger and chubbier (hey, somehow calling someone fat is really annoying lol! so be thoughtful a bit!). I haven’t survived the great war (read: Eras Tour) and it felt suck even though 1989 TV is on its way so I hope I could listen to some bops from the vault and feel better. Spending times with my closest friends were amazing this year, I always left with big smiles cause we really did manage to look for proper times to meet and in the end, everything went well. I will try to write many posts again in this blog when I settle back to a real-life among crazy things in the job, upcoming projects, following up with my mom’s renovation remotely, and dramas on Netflix that I ignored since I landed in Indonesia that is going to rob my time, daily routine (I’ll miss grabbing hot cappuccino from Starbucks!), many more things ahead! So I can still have that “balance” in life by writing down all my memories so that someday when I read them again, I can keep smiling that I have lived my life.

I can only say A TON OF THANKS from the bottom of my heart for those close and good friends I spent time with this year because I do realise that the distance between us when we get older is one of those that can end our friendship, so I THANK YOU!

I’m logging off again for a very short time and hey, on my last day here I woke up from a dream (that seemed so real omg) when I told one of my best friends, Knogler Andreas who is currently in Kazakhstan, that I didn’t realise I was in Germany which later I saw my Schengen visa. Damn, what a ridiculous yet sweet dream. Perhaps, that was one sign I would see him sooner in Europe. Ich drücke dir die Daumen! dear me :)

Two Hundred And Forty Three Days

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“That is the exact number of days from the last time I wrote something on this blog, ouch.”


I always make a joke that what I want for my last day on earth is having seven hundred and twenty three people in form of a choir singing august, my forever-till-I-die  song from folklore. Seven hundred and twenty three people singing beautifully, surrounded by English style fresh flower hedge arrangement with David Austin roses and peonies in white filled with various eucalyptus foliages. It sounds ridiculous and peculiar I am aware, but that is a proper image to tell you how much I love august, till the core of my heart. I am not unmoored with this statement :)

I really love august and I am writing this with a wish I could stand listening to august live from the singer-songwriter herself on The Eras Tour. Manifesting. If I am going to talk about my love for august,  I might need 229 thousand words to describe it. Well, I am not doing it now :)

Let me mention that there are tons of things I would like to randomly write these days here, from the monumental Grammy winning of folklore (OH YES I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS), Harry’s House won this year (never sit and pay a proper listen of his latest record, btw but I am deeply in love with Late Night Talking), Midnights (3am edition) has a lot of songs I like (to mention Maroon, Karma is a cat bop,  Anti-Hero, Glitch is a sleek one! I really adore the production on Glitch, Paris is fun, many more), I recently fancy I Drink Wine from 30,  oh yes I was pissed a bit when All Too Well (10 minutes version) didn’t win Grammy SOTY, and have you listened to About Damn Time gosh that Lizzo’s song is a banger I adore it from the first till the last second!

“What else?”

Should I mention till date I never want to finish the last episode of Prison Playbook yes! YES! I do not want to because that Kdrama is just a gem, A GEM (that’s one of my bad sides, when I like a particular drama I will take time to slowly end it, it’s strange like!), please give a try if you never watch it :) trust me it’s just a masterpiece. You’ll find it boring at the first and second episode but once you understand the dark humors, you’ll love it. There are tons of life lesson in it which makes me think PP is something else. I also fell in love with The Glory from my first watch, it is damn so fascinating , and I just finished the episode 16 (which is the end of season 2 I guess, imho please no season 3 as the ending is just so damn perfect.),. The Glory is just so damn BIG YES. The casts, the storyline, characters I mean, fantastic, unbelievable. I have listed among Hospital Playlist, Prison Playbook, Reply 1988, 25-22 as THE BEST K DRAMAS so far. I am also in the middle of All Of Us Are Dead, starting with curiosity if the drama will somehow look similar like Train To Busan but ended by loving it. Well, I couldn’t imagine being in that horrendous situation if it was in a real life, no please :|

A previous post before this random one was when I shared those meals I had when I was in Indonesia during fasting period last year. Here I am living in Ramadan month fully by myself. I keep trying to cherish every day by telling my body and mind “you guys did a great job” by the time I break my fast. Every time I have the opportunity to break it in my apartment, I do feel grateful because I am in the middle of a couple of projects at the moment, that for sure it will take my time like crazy. I mean, how would you feel when you have to fly impromptu to another city for a project 3 hour before departure time and must work overnight with a pressure and no preparation of at least, a clean t-shirt for the next day, not even a toothbrush? Well, I did that. In fact, that was the first day of fasting this year when I had to break it on the air, with a small bottle of water and a whisper of “you guys did a great job” to my systems. What a roller coster of experience.

Okay, I Got These. And I Thankful

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“I kept remembering myself, “Tomorrow’s your last day. Tomorrow’s the last day.”

That started like a week before I left.”

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Most of the time I cannot believe I have gone this far, living far away from my root and make living by working days and nights, for years. It sounds like a joke every time there is a conversation in my head when will I detach myself from where I am living at the moment and start something new. At somewhere new, further. Find myself among new faces I had never seen before in my brown coat, in not so crowded morning. Giving my system sometimes to adapt to a chilly and windy morning in autumn. Hiding my two hands in my pockets even after I wear gloves. Trust me, I am still keeping those scenes with some reasonable beliefs, someday when I read this post again, I have already lived in that life (fingers-crossed).

Three years ago when I had no clue we would all face terrible chaos called a world pandemic, I wrote a few things down in my diary on what I wanted to eat when I got back to my root. I was smiling when I was writing them because I knew some wouldn’t be accomplished, such a funny thing that always happens. Either I am forgetting a few of them or I do not have enough time to do so. After three years, I could finally tick most of what I wrote in my diary.

Even though I decided not to travel but I had so many simply happiness when I was there: having a peaceful nap after 1 PM and waking up before 3 PM, that one was such a luxury. Shopping for new outfits after three years? somehow it shocked me a bit how much I spent but let me be wise, it wasn’t that much when I divided the total amount into three (3 years right?! that made sense), what else again…

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I rehearsed when I knew I only had some days left in Indonesia which meant that the time to say goodbye again had come closer.  Exactly a week before my departure date, I said this every single evening: “Tomorrow you’re going to fly! hello real world!”. I purposely thought it won’t hurt me that much facing the reality that I only had a few days left, leaving all those comfortable things (plus the food!). And funny enough, it worked. But that is probably not going to work if I am standing on a chilly autumn morning with a warm kanelsnegl, scarf on my neck, smiling, a week after I accomplish something big I have been dreaming for. Manifesting the last sentence (another fingers-crossed)


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Here what I want to share to you for what I could count as one of the highlights of the trip…it’s time to pamper your eyes with what I ate during my short stay in my hometown, Surabaya. Scroll slowly so you could imagine the heavenly taste from each one….

I will stop writing, let these pictures speak the rest :)

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Keep scrolling, I had eaten more and more delicious food!

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On the next post, I will share some snacks and food when I was outside (meeting friends or even Netflix time at home!) so this post won’t be too long. If you wonder, all were taken with an iPhone 12 Pro Max, on my desk. In a room I always stay in my mom’s house (damn, can’t wait to say ” from my own house” on this blog! Very soon hopefully *another fingers-crossed*).

Almost Three Years


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“I deliberately picked a seat on the aisle because I wasn’t patient enough to jump out of the plane. And Surabaya was gray, cloudy. The rain became such a gloomy welcome, after almost three years.”


If you ask me if I was really keen to fly home after two years plus which was the longest I had ever been away, the answer is no. I was feeling like “it’s not a big deal” even if I have to wait till the end of this year but I was thrilled I did it.

The pandemic was something else. It has changed few things in life we have never thought before. I remember, on Sunday afternoon in my room, I had a courage to sit and concentrated thinking about my itinerary. That time I was started feeling excited to think about the best flight to choose, how long my transit time would be, how about things to prepare when I landed in Jakarta as you know there are so many updates on the health protocols at the airport, and my wish to see Mbak Ririn when I was still in Jakarta (which we met!). 

I knew I would feel maudlin when I landed in Surabaya. The first person who always came to the airport every time I fly back home was Ruli, a best friend of mine who passed away because of Covid last year. It still feels hard for me not to find him not only at the airport, but during my stay in Indonesia, and the worst is forever. But I had made a promise to myself when I landed in Indonesia this time around, I want to live to the fullest. 

I loved how Surabaya was chill when I came out of the airport. “Let’s live to the fullest” echoed in my head so I took my AirPods and listened to August. I just wanted to create the most enjoyable and comfortable vibe possible while looking at the drizzles outside. It was the simplest thing that made me excited on my way to my mom’s house. I finally gave her an answer to be here and I couldn’t be more grateful.

From the day I landed, I tried to rush to do those important things way ahead so at least, I won’t be lazy to postpone things till the last minute. I was glad I did a small renovation for a small room in my mom’s house. A room I always stay in every time I’m back. So, “How far with your house?” question that has no answer yet.

I have prepared my mind before I travelled that my time in Indonesia would be 50% of “go outside and find coffees” and another 50% would be “chilling in the house with Korean dramas on Netflix is the best”. It is because I only had like one and a half weeks before Ramadan so I had quite limited time to hang out over coffees.

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This time around I had to postpone on vacation-thing. This year marks the second time I have an opportunity to do fasting with my family in Indonesia after 10 years of working outside the country (please don’t tell me it’s a long time!) so I think it’s a wise decision not to travel during Ramadan (hey I won’t be ably sipping a coffee or dark mocha during the day! and document it). The fact that I only have half of Ramadan in Indonesia, I decided to take my time during the fasting period with my family in the house. Gosh I know it’s going to be a bit hard when the time to fly back is finally here but again, I want to cherish my time here and try to live to the fullest.

One of the funny things I experienced lately is that I prefer to stay in the house after 3 pm. It might sound weird because I used to like to hang out till late back then. I suspect because of age (I know right!) but truly, I feel more relaxed and comfortable being at home after 3 pm. Also, Surabaya starts its rain mostly in the late afternoon so imagine being in the room with TwentyFiveTwentyOne or folklore when the weather is chill.

Do you know the funny part about being away for three years? So many things have changed since I was here before the world pandemic.

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Surabaya looks prettier and tidier. I love the fact that along Tunjungan street, there are so many cute little coffee shops and eateries which in the evening the vibe is inviting.

A best friend of mine Fahmi, has rebuilt his house and I was shocked because it is so much bigger (with a high ceiling!). Before we went for an early breakfast he took me to his newly-renovated house which made me want to slap my own face (I guess I should!). I neglected my house because I am not financially ready yet but again, I won’t let myself look for an excuse not to visit mine just to see how the condition is. Man, Fahmi was invisibly slapped me with “When will you do yours!!” and I always say the same thing to myself, “We have different directions so I am okay.” But till when will I be okay with this? :)

I got a piece of good news from Winda and Ayos that they are expecting their second child days after I landed here! I was so thrilled for them :)

We finally met again after three years over some sushi two days before Ramadan started. I really had a good time with them and Mas Raka until evening with scoops of ice cream. I won’t ask for more when we both had our time and tried as much to meet, sit and share quality time but be grateful.

I also made such a surprising welcome by showing up in front of Mas Andhi’s house as planned. I believe he was flabbergasted :). The day before I, we texted over Instagram DM and he didn’t have an idea we were in the same town. It was all fun keeping my arrival for twelve days in secret and then showing up in the morning when he half awoke :) and spent a whole day in his little cute coffee shop called Tropikal Coffee.

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I am ending this post by counting my days, hiks. Instead of growing the maudlin feeling, I perhaps should look for more food to taste when my fasting ends in the evening and document it :) oh, I managed time to have dinner at the same restaurant where Ruli and I always sat with tenderloin steaks every time I am here :) I felt you were there, Rul.

From My Window


“The day I confirmed my date to travel back to Indonesia, I did manage time to set my flight as comfortable as possible. The window seat for a long haul might be the best choice. At least, to capture some moments above the clouds.

Oh, I played folklore from the on-board entertainment.”

shot on iPhone 12 pro max 


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Happy & Sad (At The Same Time)

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“It was 10 PM when I landed in Jakarta after almost three years. The longest I have ever waited to go back home.”


You know that excitement when you had waited for so long for a thing you wanted to do, you thought your heart would be over the moon but you didn’t. That was exactly how I felt when I reached Dubai for six hours of transit.

I wondered why. I loved being at the massive airport again, I loved to stand in front of the destination board wondering if I someday could fly to those cities I’ve been dreaming for. I loved entering Boeing, I loved the vibe. I did feel that from my first flight, it was just like a dream I could be on the big aeroplane again looking for my seat, since the pandemic, travelling seemed like a diamond.

This time around I had that idea to record my journey through my iPhone. I wanted to have a livelier recorded journey than just some pictures. I was just trying to become a bit selfless by ignoring people around me. You won’t find me being busy with an iPhone recording things on daily basis, I might prefer to live the moment. But since the pandemic, my thought of that was slightly shifted. So from the moment I waited at the passenger lounge in Lagos, till I landed in Jakarta, I recorded some.

During my flight from Lagos to Dubai, I felt a bit excited knowing that I would eat my favourite authentic Indonesian food in the next few days. I felt a bit excited that my mom’s question every time she called me in the past few months would have an answer. I felt a bit excited that I would see my close friends. I felt a bit of these and those, but a thousand bits would be incomplete. I wondered. I wondered why I didn’t feel that “a complete, bold happiness.”

Perhaps before I even flew I already knew my plans in Indonesia would have to be shifted because I mostly would still be working from home during my leave (you might wonder how I feel about this). Perhaps because the plan of two months has to be shared into two, which on one side I felt like “it’s okay.” but on another side, it was a bit hard. I had imagined I wanted to feel the end of Ramadan in Indonesia with my mom and my family, I had imagined even though we do not have that kind of special celebration for a whole day. I even told my mom before I left and before I had a conversation with my employer that I would be home for a short time. She was a bit disappointed and reminded me how long I had been away. Sometimes I feel like, choosing my job over my family isn’t always right. I love what I am doing but since the pandemic, I am trying really hard to keep myself stable, to keep thinking positively about my mom’s health, to keep remembering that time is essential. Or perhaps, my feeling seemed to be down in the dumps knowing that Ruli had gone. I won’t see him picking me up from the airport as he always did. The last one might be the worst I ever felt, mostly when I stared at the clouds and wondered if he was even on the highest cloud smiling.

The fact that Ruli had gone was really hard for me. Even to date, I have no courage to tell you on writing here, to cement my feeling to my best friend for life, how much sudden I have been keeping since the day he passed.

Before I had my plan set last year, when I saw how travelling bit by bit became easier after the vaccine was invented, I told Ruli that I would be going soon. Then, when he was still alive, he told me that he missed me, asking me when would I fly home. We had this place in Surabaya where we always had steak every time I go home. We sat at the same restaurant and talked about our dads, about when would I resign from the job I am currently having and pursue my Master, about where would I be if I could travel again. After we had our meal, I always asked him to wait for a minute. I always stood at the end of the porch looking at the seat where my dad used to enjoy his meal. Little did I know, the way he left so swiftly with no signs, still, giving me that mournful feeling. So deeply.

I completely understand that we can’t force the universe for giving us enough time for everything. When I landed, I tried to leave some of those mournful feelings behind, but instead, I will try to cherish each day I have in Indonesia.

I followed the procedure at the airport on how to get tested after they collected data for my vaccine, PCR test result, and where would I be quarantined. I thought it was going to be a long process that would add to my cracking bones from how many hours I had gone through in the air. Everything was going smoothly till I entered in a hotel room that I picked the day before I flew from Lagos (this was not “me” at all for a last-minute reservation). I did miss that feeling of serenity when you can pause a bit from everything in life and take care of yourself. Having your body on top of a thick clean white blanket, bathing under a warm shower at night, sleep tight, knowing that you have passed so many things you thought were scary and difficult. I felt that when I let myself fall on the bed. I wasn’t sleepy yet even though my body was screaming inside. I thought about what my next journey would be. The pandemic must have taught me to be more present on how to prepare things when I travel. But at the same time, it scares me if something unexpected happens in between. I sat looking through the glass window, thinking I would extend one more night after if I received the result from the Covid test I did at the airport. The good thing about it was that I only needed to be quarantined for one day when I rang the reception the next morning and got a negative result. My mind was rested a bit. The night I sat in the hotel room, my mind was straightly thought to reach Mbak Ririn. She is the one who’s like my older sister from another mother every time I have time in Jakarta, one of the kindest persons I have ever met. I couldn’t help sending her an iPhone picture when the reflection of skyscrapers fell on my window. I kept my journey in secret to my close friends but not to Mbak Ririn. My time is limited in Jakarta and knowing on time if I could or couldn’t meet her again was better. I did expect so much I could see her but I didn’t it was all right. I felt like I should have told her I would be in Jakarta the day I flew from Lagos when I didn’t see any response from the message I sent after midnight.

When she replied we should meet up my heart was full of blossoms. I did realise that if her time and my time didn’t match, we wouldn’t meet yesterday evening.

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I couldn’t help feeling so excited when I came out from the lift and saw her standing in the lobby. We hugged so tight, feeling so grateful we could see each other again after the last time she dropped me at the airport thirty-four months ago. I felt so much joy when we finally sat in the car heading for a dinner. I was grateful knowing that she is healthy. I felt grateful I could pause a bit from those things I had in mind about my job, deadlines, and sitting over dinner with Mbak Ririn at a little and cute eatery somewhere at Cikini. We laughed, we shared each other’s stories. Listening to her stories when she travelled to Japan when the pandemic started, how much she loved the food in Kyoto, talking about how her colleague spent only three nights in New York for a conference because of pandemic, about how I felt about losing my best friend Ruli, those warm stories that again, I would store in my memory. I made a promise to cherish as many as I can all the moments I had and will have when I am here. I expected a longer time with Mbak Ririn than talking for an hour plus by the window but I won’t complain at the end. Because I completely understand how life works. When you have that will to see a person, a good friend or a best friend, after a long time, you must understand that it is not that easy for our “time” to work if it is not at the right time. So when you do have the opportunity, cherish it. Try not to expect too much but enjoy every second till the time to say goodbye is in front of you. By then, you will learn that really, something good happens for a reason, at the right time, and you will feel peaceful and sincerely enough.

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I never thought I would write a long post like this but perhaps, this is a good sign that I will be freely throwing my feeling again here, on this blog. Let’s see how my short time in Indonesia would be.

A Little Oasis

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“How do I start? Blaming myself for being so, so lackadaisical?”

Perhaps, I really should. It is awful neglecting this page for almost a year. I’m writing this apology from myself to Goofydreamer, a room of everything I share to the world, from a simple story of how I prepare my breakfast till “very-personal” life stories.

Eine Unvergesslische Reise (teil eins) was originally written last year but I re-published on the month of May when I did correct some grammatical errors and adjusted few photographs. So truly, I neglected this blog from October last year, the longest time I did write nothing here.

2020 was definitely an unforgettably awful and unexpected year for everyone. As I thought 2021 was going to be better yet some moments terribly hit me till I almost lost myself for sometime. Never had I imagined one the worst life destinies happened to me too soon. Never ever had I imagine it left me nothing but memories with one of the most important people in my life. Nothing I could change but keep going even to crawl for days till I had enough braveness to stand still again. I may share on writing what happened when myself is ready.

I once stood in front of a mirror in the restroom when I thought that one of the things we all need to do during these hard times is to stay happy. So many ways to achieve that, different ways for different people. I have been trying hard to keep myself stable during this “pandemic” era from last year, listening to a record that helps me to stay happy every time I listen to the whole body of work (folklore, what else :) let me remind you that today last year ago folklore was released and boom! it won Album of The Year Grammy 2021), investing more on my time to be closer to my mom even though it is only by phone, keeping my saving on track but I still let myself go for an eat-out ordering the same Tom Yam at the Chinatown restaurant, buying one or two new mugs (you’ll see the latest one is FOR FOX SAKE below – I guess it’s my new addiction), watching Lee Je-Hoon‘s dramas, etcetera, etcetera. I am taking it slowly on the fact that I never travel back home for more than two years due to some issues on this and that yet I am still looking on the day I stare to the clouds by the window seat again pretty soon.

Today when I woke up, I whispered to myself that I wanted to try to write something here, some random stuffs, or thoughts, anything, just to keep updating. Because updating contents here used to make me happy: photographing my food, chasing an afternoon light when shadowplay falls nicely, editing travel photographs from the vaults and publish them, or even those personal touchy stories that take one or two months to finish, or some random iPhone pictures. I was worried that I might not keep my words to post but then, I accidentally lifted myself when I found an afternoon light fell on my faux Eames chair. I took some interesting objects near me and well the time I exported all to my MacBook, I finally felt that spark again. I was happy. I named that simply happiness from photographs I took for 15 minutes as “A Little Oasis” – feeling.

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All taken with Sony A6300

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Eine Unvergessliche Reise (Teil Eins)


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One time on Sunday afternoon early March, we had a chat on what we wanted to do.

It was around 2 o’clock and I did say from the beginning:”Anything about best food or sort, I trust you.”.

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I didn’t do any research on things to do, not even must-visit spots or something like that (coffee shops excluded of course). I only had one clear purpose of the trip: nothing less than to enjoy every single moment.

I flew on May 5th. A flight from Cape Town with two hours transit in Dubai was smooth yet exhausting. I didn’t make time to sleep on the plane yet I couldn’t blame myself cause those questions why Hong Kong anxiously came out twice. I had a very good seat and entertainment on board with choices of good movies. I did watch some movies yet I knew, I lied to myself if I wasn’t bored. It was only a hot coffee I requested just before landing time which made me felt better.

I should have felt excited because a pleasant week from South Africa would continue in Asia. But there was a reason why Hong Kong was a bit peculiar: I never thought I would fly all the way for such a busy crowded city for a vacation. I did think Hong Kong was never on my top list.

I never landed but I could feel the heat. I was still on my window seat witnessing a typical iconic Hong Kong skyscrapers tucked with thick clouds. The sun was bright as I was gathering my excitement and pushing one by one questions of why Hong Kong in 2018.

I was inside an airport train to immigration when I finally felt the Asia vibe again. “Damn, I’m close enough to home. Should I pay a visit on my last three days here?”, I never even started my trip but a thought of going home was echoed inside my mind. I knew I was exhausted but somehow, I loved the sensation being on a very tight train among strangers.

I remember, I hugged Andreas twice to ensure he was real. Lé pardon if the sentence before this was too much. I did hug him twice to reassure it wasn’t a dream. When he stood there with my name handwritten on a piece of paper, my mind excitingly remembered to this magical note, “We both do not know where that will be, but we know it will happen.” As much as I remind myself to strongly believe that every dream will find its way to be real, someday, with some shiny glittering magic in between, a beautiful moment at that airport had proved it right. My peculiar feeling of why Hong Kong was evaporated in the air and suddenly showering different kind of excitements.

We took a fast train to the central. The day was sunny as I could see from the window. Andreas sat where my will-always-be-my-spot a.k.a window seat while I asked him twice, “Isn’t this strange? Don’t you think so?.” He answered it was. I felt it was strange in a very good way that hours we spent on Skype for the past two and half years brought us to real a life again. As we were on the train passing some typical Hong Kong residences, my heart was ready for some new surprises. I sat with memories when we had a chat twice in Tokyo which weren’t long. In the morning I repacked my things from Kyoto and a to-midnight short conversation at the lobby that has a wide clear glass somewhere in Akihabara.

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Here how our travel time through four memorable days was documented.

On a sunny afternoon, I finally felt glücklich to be in Hong Kong and let Andreas showed the best Hong Kong has to offer.

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Off from the airport, we went straight to my hostel (yes with S, you didn’t read wrong). I didn’t rent a portable pocket Wi-Fi since I found it was expensive, so on the first day Andreas was my live-Google-Map. Well, I had some screenshots on my iPhone to where I should have headed but I trusted him to lead the way. I remember we were off from the train and stopped at one train station heading to where we stood for a bus. When we realized the bus was heading to the opposite destination, we changed to the right one by burning calories under the sun until we finally arrived at Shek Pai Wan Road, Aberdeen.

I was managing myself to sort everything out rapidly while Andreas was waiting. I even forgot to enjoy my bath under the shower (best part: there are two with clear glass to enjoy the view outside, oh ofc not from floor to ceiling). I felt better and fresher after changing that faded green Zara tee with more comfortable one in black.

When I stepped out of the hostel, I looked up. It was after 5 pm and the sky turned to grey.

I was a little worried if it started raining. In front of where we stood for a bus, Andreas was checking the route on the information board. I thought that time, he wanted to reassure we won’t just get in to a wrong bus again. I was admiring the environment around us, the Cantonese in the air, and typical Hong Kong tight crowded flats with ACs placed outside the building. The first thing Andreas did and I loved it so much: he took me to the upper deck of the bus that has a wide clear glass (and it was empty!) where we could actually see different scenes on the road. The time we sat, I started believing that evening would be a great start of a wonderful travel experience.

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Off from the bus, he brought me to another simply exciting experience: we took a Hong Kong open tram and we again sat on the upper deck. “Azis, come with me, I’ll show the best spot to be on this tram. You’ll love it.”

And for God-sake, it was beautiful. I sat with a California Dream in the air. By writing this, I still remember the sensation sitting behind him gazing out to the people on busy roads, different shops with neon signage lights, the breeze, the rush. My travel bugs were flying high and dancing gleefully until I didn’t think it was necessary to capture the moment with my camera but my own brain. And keeping it somewhere safe.

Andreas brought me to a place where we had dinner. It was such a food court kind of that was crowded and sonorous but somehow, it was epic. The sensation was distinct where I could feel the strong Hong Kong vibe surrounded. I had delicious Vietnamese Pho while Andreas had curry noodle. That evening was a bit cloudy but warm. We took a walk for a ferry ride to peninsula afterwards.

It was a great experience on the ferry but more than that, I did enjoy all the simple things that evening. It was a kind of travel style I love the most: no plans, just surprises. Going to places with no expectations but ended with some memorable memories. I remember crystal clear, a young lady was singing a Cantonese song with guitar behind us, I joked I could take her mic and sang better. I crossed my legs on the hard cement floor when we had a slow time for friendship talk.

He got a cold canned beer which I opened and had a ship. My first beer in my life at the Hong Kong harbor I said, proudly. It tasted so weird but the view in front of my eyes was picturesque. I captured and remembered it.

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I sat on the second floor at Kowloon mosque, it was around 4 pm-ish.

I never sent a text asking if Andreas had time to accompany me again on the second day until I later got one; “I just finished my research at uni. Any idea of what we should do?.” I had waited for a while for something stated in my reply; “Something to eat.” He later answered with an idea of where to go.

I remember the mosque was near the Tsim Sha Tsui station. Andreas was standing near exit C and I came to him with an empty tummy. I had no idea what he had in mind but I trusted every decision he made. We later found ourselves at Tim Ho Wan Olympian City 2 in West Kowloon. As we entered, I only had one request to him: a seat by the window for good lighting, what else?

The best part of our lunch was the restaurant wasn’t crowded then so it gave us a good time to talk in between pleasantly. The meal was great, not to mention he was the only one who had schweinefleisch in warm buns. He joked I should have tried a little taste of heaven.

We spent an hour plus then we were heading to Ladies Market, a bet of eating durian (which he didn’t try! he should have tried it when in Asia even though I can’t eat raw durian too), passing some interesting stalls with Cantonese everywhere.

Everything was really enthralling.

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Andreas used to spend eight months in Hong Kong years ago as an exchange student so trusting him to show all best sites was the best decision (if I shouldn’t mention it was such an excuse for being lackadaisical). When the day got dark, we sat at one of the famous traditional Hong Kong restaurants in Jordan called Australia Diary Company. He told me to taste the popular meal: scrambled egg served on toast and I must say the scrambled egg tasted so good but sadly I couldn’t finish eating it. I was full from Tim Ho Wan but the best part was the milk tea.

Oh God, it was heaven. The best I ever tasted.

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As a milk tea lover, he was blithe having a full glass with generous ice. I remember he was laughing when looking on how I looked after he told me not to expect a polite service and eating slowly because the waiter could forcibly get you to stand out from your chair. It was a typical Hong Kong restaurant service when they could roughly drop a food you order on the table. But that wasn’t a big deal for me because the way I enjoyed the most that evening apart of the milk tea was the vibe, the strangers chats, and some unique details my mind had captured: pen scribble on a waiter’s pocket that clearly showed on his white shirt, six vertical stacks of white coffee cups behind where Andreas sat, the grumpy face of the man behind the bar brewing Vietnamese coffee, and of course, the yellow menu card.

We ended the day by sitting near TST promenade for a random friendship talk with a view of Hong Kong skylines. Andreas told me we could get in The Peak Tram if the weather was friendly. Thought I won’t mind to experience the famous view of Hong Kong with her skyscrapers, there was no necessary apologetic “why” from the nature.

Staring to the clouds up there, deep down in my heart, I sent my gratitude to the universe for giving me a privilege such travel.

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~ to be continued to part ii ~

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Reminiscing Old Phones & Random Moments Via iPhone

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I remember how it felt when I received a gift from my sister which was the first mobile phone I ever had, Nokia 2112.

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Few months before I handed mine, I always imagined how cool it was if I was walking, passing the crowd and the mobile phone was ringing. It was tardy in my third year at high school when I first got mine while most of my friends had those fancy ones. Back then, Nokia was ahead of time. I remember various “out-of-the-box” designs applied on the mobile phone yet I was enough with a very handy one in lilac. The way I imagined I was so cool for sending a text with my Nokia to my friends just to ask if the next day at school we would have an exam came to real.

Then the trend for changeable phone cases was in as well as various designs and phone accessories. From 2112 I got upgraded to 3220, my world, that phone was so cool back then, launched with a fun feature, LED light on the body. It wasn’t that long until I changed to another “quite-quirky” phone called Nokia 7610 (whatsss!! I remember the unusual looking phone in red, white and black!! – trust me, I had to Google the series). It was crystal clear in mind I had 7610 when I started college. Photographing via mobile phone was an epic experience even the pixel was so limited :)

From Nokia, my mobile phone adventure flew to Samsung. I do not remember what series my first Android phone was but I remember it was white with a better quality camera. When I left Indonesia for the first time and started working overseas, I got an upgraded Android as a reward for myself, from myself. Until later the phone was lost when I left from a meeting in the evening. I recalled it was gone when I had to return to check the screening system twice and found nothing. Few days later I closed my eyes by spending my saving and got a Blackberry (who remember BBM, and the pop-up sound, and the emoticons, and BBM status?!).

Blackberry Bold 9900 to Sony Xperia Acro S then I finally landed on iPhone 5 (my first iPhone was iPhone 5! :)).

iPhone 5 accidentally fell and got broken –> iPhone 5 again, just because I had thought twice on getting an upgraded iPhone 5S (but no! I was diligent enough on saving money, lol) –> iPhone 7 –> and the current one, iPhone X –> iPhone 12 (blue one bitte, who knows! LOL, I’m still okay with iPhone X).

Some random iPhone photos from an iPhone X to end this random post :)

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