A Poem For The Brave



You crumbled my emotional dreams

You made me cried overnight

Few times

It was casually cruel, to be honest

Till I felt “it’s okay, to give up”

You gave me some heartaches, deep down to my heart

But that’s okay

You taught me how to stand straighter after crawling from falling

Thank you for all those moments

For all those ups and downs

For all those random human beings I met

And let us became friends

Some have become my best friends

For giving me opportunities to see other parts of this earth

Thank you, 2017

2018, I’ll let you show your shines

I know you will give me some differences to my life

Let most of them are adventurous

Which could make me pursue

To give my very best


Favs

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“I’ve been quite on Instagram for almost two months (yess!:)) but here on this page I’ll try to keep updating…”


It’s good to disconnect with social media and live more “real and lively” without curious looking at someone else’s life :) At least by reducing my time scrolling pages on Instagram, I could finish some books by having reading time before bed calls. Tho for the past two weeks, I didn’t really have time to read in the evening cause hell ya, I’d been working like crazy this December. I’m trying to recover myself from those sleepless nights, eating random food at random times, and from “everywhere-beds” (uh I slept on the floor you know at one shopping mall when I had to finish a pop-up store for one brand).

For me, it is necessary to give ourselves a reward after we work hard. Not essentially have to be something fancy, some good food would be good :) an iPhoneX would be awesome (LOL I wish I could!). Last night I thought about adding this handsome guy for myself :P but ended with a camera case on eBay. Perhaps I should put on hold cause ah, every time I remember I have to build my own kitchen and some furnitures involved, there is a whisper on my mind like “focus!” :P. Okay, I should respect myself.

So here, I just want to share some fav things I love recently :)


It’s All Right

My life’s such a roller coaster recently. Many things happened, good and bad. Some were worse than I could imagine. But like what people say, this is a journey.

Sometimes I’ll win, sometimes I’ll lose. That’s okay. That’s how life teaches me. Just like you, I’m a human. I’ll cry when it’s time to cry yet I should always try to enjoy this life as often as I can. 

“You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible” ~ Jojo Moyes 

 

Cheers!

It’s July!

Okay, 2017 you are flying too fast. Can’t believe six months just gone like that. Man, I mean, July?

I have been living in a quite though life since eighteen hours ago. Came back home by 3am after long Saturday with last-minute notice for the work (like always), the air was cold (and I kinda missed my friend, Hasan, when I was on my way home, literally) and woke up at 7am with homeworks on my mind. But that is fine, still feeling grateful for everything. At least, I could manage myself for 2 hours sleep from 10am to 12pm, finished my homework by 4pm (as I scheduled), now time to do my personal homework.

But wait, think I should enjoy this afternoon with a slice of banana cake I baked (yes, I kinda addicted with baking recently! this one is the best so far!) with a cup of hot chocolate before continuing my personal homework.

I probably a bit slow updating this page on July yet I’m hoping I can face a new week by accomplishing so many important things both in my work and personal. Wish me luck!

Reflection: Save Myself

May is when I become anxious. Tho this sounds crazy, but become older is hideous for me. Hope I don’t have gerascophobia.

But this year, I’ve tried to accept the fact that age is just a matter of number (I think I’m trying to write falsity here). Perhaps, I always feel that I’m not that young to do THIS and THAT. Perhaps, I feel that I should do THIS and THAT earlier like years back. I should had attended a French class when I was 14. I should had travelled outside country when I was 16. I should had gotten my scholarship in Germany right after high school. I should had more stamps from Schengen countries on my passport when I was 23. I should had been married at 26. I should and other 100 shoulds. And here I am, standing at the age near two numbers that I always anxious about.

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“But again, life has no blueprint right?”


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Right now I’m not trying to write falsity. This year I feel I should be wiser to myself. I should be tougher enough to face this world than before. My personal reflection this year after my birthday three days ago is the title of this post: Save Myself. If you are wondering why I pick that, please listen to this (I could listen 100x a day, I’m serious). If I have to write a statement of mine inspired by that genius song it would be

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“Sometimes in this life, we are too busy giving attentions to people we love or hate and forget how we should love ourself. It could be so exhausting if we did not realise how much we’ve ever given too much to people. Some of them would remember things you did. Most of them might be, would take it as granted. I didn’t say that we should not love or save someone else. It just reminds me on how it could be detrimental when we gave too much to other people or felt taken advantage of.

We really need to be wise when we want to save someone else, select the essential ones and do it full hearted


Having few best friends that born on May give some sparks of happiness on me. Sending them wishes, birthday cakes and bad jokes in between, tho I’m living billion miles away like this, I always find it exciting. And also I want to thank to most of them that sent me beautiful wishes (almost shed a tear when I put on my internet back after worked day and night on 11!). From genk Sogeh, Mb Ika & Ita, Mb Ririn, Ayos, Shohib, Atre, Yuriko, Rifda, Ms Andhi, Judith from Spain (you’re too kind!), a voice message Andreas sent straight from Ljubljana, Teppo from Oulu, and some dropped on my Facebook wall. I grew up with no birthday celebrations (tho I do love to celebrate others!) but I got a wallet to replace the stolen one, maybe I could count him as a birthday gift for myself :).

I’m Thankful I’m Still Breathing


Today is one of those days that broke my heart.


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As a person who believes that the process to get to a place or a thing is more essential than the result itself, I still feel this is hard cause in the end, the result that matters. I might be strong enough to let it happened if it had to be happened like this.

Though I’m aware that it’s still not easy to accept a thing called failure.

A note to myself today is that I have to be ready for good and bad things may happen in my life. Sometimes I think that is the beauty of life when I can experience the ups and downs. I have failed today, gosh it feels bad!, yet I’m pretending that I’m okay. I know, what I need to do next is to get up and try it again because it is allowed to dream big. I may have to crawl, climb, fall, and cry for my dreams but what I know, as long as I’m breathing, God is with me.

 

 

Lagos, 9:23 PM.

2017!

2017

The fact that I always hate to be older when a new year comes, there are few things left in my heart last year. Despite that I’m just a human like you, I did have ups and downs that right now I did realise they made 2016 was even more colorful.

Here are 16 personal thoughts of mine that worth to be remembered and to be grateful for on 2016:

1. Still healthy and that’s the most important I think

2. Got my very own house before 30 on January, though I still have a lot of homework to make it as close as I imagined what a real ‘home’ is

3. I couldn’t ask more than a complete family, though I did shock (and almost cried) with the fact that one of my sister was diagnosed with cancer just two days before I flew back to Africa, it didn’t stop me to be grateful for this life cause God is in control. There is a reason why I wrote the first statement the way it is because health is the real wealth

4. I did make a simply family vacation with my mom and my siblings came true. Had no regret though I thought about it since four years ago

5. Traveled to Japan alone and fell in love with the country (and I’m gonna back this year too! hopefully!)

6. Met with some travelers from different countries and became really good friends till right now. This makes me believe that there are still a lot of kind humans in this world

7. This may sound so cheesy (sorry) but bought a simple gold ring for my Mom as a gift was one the most simply beautiful thing I did this year. It wasn’t expensive (as I did wish I could buy a diamond, someday!) yet hopefully she knew how much I love her

8. There were few of my Mom’s siblings had passed away on 2016 and it made me realised that having a complete parents is the real gift I should thank more

9. Still had opportunities catching up and keeping the friendships with cool peeps but sad in the same time for the one I couldn’t meet (hello Giri, Atre, Yuriko!, we must meet this year mbak Ika!)

10. I found out the name of a place that the picture has been on my mind since I was kid called Hallstatt in Austria. A dream place where I want to spend the day by staring at the lake with a cup of hot chocolate in my hand (let’s see if this dream comes true this year!)

 11. The time when I was so restless whether I had to come back to Africa or not because I felt insecure to lead my department with less supports. I thought it was so scary but my decision to try made me believe more than ever that I’m strong enough to still stand in this country, working professionally

12. Had a courage to sing in front of people at Indonesian Embassy here, finally (:P)

13. I did Qur’ban after I was off on 2015, last year was the first I did outside Indonesia. I felt grateful for that

14. Made a little surprise with Winda and Maya for one our very best friend, Ruli, on his birthday by sending him a green tea cheese cake (oh fatty! :P). When I saw his face on the picture they shared on our chat-group, it made me think to do more often for more of my best friend (my new very good friend, too!)

15. Should I mentioned that 2 pictures liked by Alice Gao on IG was worth to be remembered cause she’s like a real star now? nah?

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2017-1

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16. Still sharing pieces of my life on this blog with you guys :* (thanks for whosoever who pay a visit!)

17. Falling love with a stranger


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Before I forget, I wish you a better New Year guys! Let’s see what 2017 has for us!

Cheers!

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