Better

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Been very quite last month on this blog and came back devoting some rues. 

I needed three days to recover myself from a hurricane of emotions last week. Found that I failed on something I’d worked for a month wasn’t an easy fact. Tho I have played “gotta get up, and try, and try, and try” many times but truly, it wasn’t that easy to handle something like that. Perhaps because it was one of the most emotional “thing” for me so it felt like I was a broken-hearted man when I failed. I wanted to share what had happened here as part of my journey but felt like “I’ll keep it in grey for now, save it for later :)”.

However, I felt better when I found that I still have few people who I’m comfortable to share with no, not because I’m picky. And I was touched how they supported me under a feeling of roller coaster.

It took me minutes to separate my private and professional life that day on how I should left that “thing” and continued working on some deadlines. It took me seconds to realise a support from my African mum when she told me that everything would be fine and “life must continue”. It took me thirty minutes in the morning to call one of a kind human I know here, to let her know what had happened the next day. It took me an hour at 2AM to reply a message from mein bester freund when I saw his reply after midnight cause felt we’ve made friends for years and I lost words. And it took seconds for me to finally relieve and completely ready what should I do next after I spent two hours on Skype with mein bester freund last Sunday.

I also took a lesson from him not to look down too deep to myself and let mistakes go. Skyping session with him wasn’t only made me felt better, but also, it resuscitated me that there are so much things in life we should be grateful for. Sometimes, you may feel your life is miserable and theirs are fairy-tale like, but you must know something, when you feel you want to give up on something you want the most and failed,

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“Remember why you started. Don’t give up, and find ways…”

Candid picture by Giri Prasetyo.