It Feels Like An Autumn


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“I’m ready for everything, in case it happens very soon.”

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Someone asked me ~with all her worries~ this question: how would I feel if one of my very, I mean it, very very best friends steps back out of a zone we both called a friendship after he married?

With a little smile, I could only show my feeling. Even though I knew it’s going to be hard.

I do realize when we grow old our circle becomes smaller. And with that, we all know that our heart could clearly find those we could called as best friends. It might not be a bunch, but they are enough to be counted with our fingers. Her question was such a bullet in a daydream. I knew what I always wanted to say, “I’m ready for everything, in case it happens very soon.” Perhaps it’s really easy just to say in words but not in heart. Perhaps it’s easy to accept a nonsense reason such as, distance becomes a big deal. Sometimes I pretend myself.

She was quite very emotional if she lost him for the sake of that long time friendship, too. The way we think might be different but we both know it isn’t that easy looking at someone we know for years has changed a little, become someone else. A stranger per se. But someone has chosen his path, with all dreams he wanted to share with someone we don’t know. Marriage life might change him as a person but what I know, even when I feel my own shiver in autumn, I would never forget his kindness. I would never erase our moments we spent together those days. Midnight. Drizzles. Sunset. Final year. Stupids. Hard times. Everything that has scored in my heart.

This is why its called a life, isn’t it?

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