My Next Doors?

Two years ago, I was restless. My mind told me to move. My heart said so.

My passion on my first job was down, different things filled me. Underappreciated, no movement, and slow-professional growth on my horizon. I’ve been worked on my new field seventeen months and felt stuck. I lost my two closest friends in my former team, it made me felt deeply sluggish. I tried to do best until I started my haunt. When I had time, I googled. Random application letters I’ve sent to random companies. I tried to spent minutes to check my mail, just few feedback from those companies. I didn’t step at all, I had no clue to move.

I always believe time never goes wrong.

I remember, I checked my phone when I was in a parking land, I got a message from young lecturer-friend-partner in some school projects, and I read it. She texted me there was a chance to work outside country. I read the message slowly and found that the chance was in Africa. Her best friend needed somebody who can help him to work with in design department. I had no clue again, either I should try or leave it. I was working like a normal until I typed some sentences on my word sheet when I got back home that night. I wrote application letter, I had no long-term-thinking about ‘what-Im doing’.

I just found something needed to change. I needed a change. Myself needed something called an adventure.

It was so fast, after I officially had a touch with the new company in Africa, I started with my first passport, my visa, my first big luggage, and something called brave. Brave to move forward, to leave my people, and brave to see the world. I flew. I moved from Indonesia.

More than two years away and I have to say so many things changed me. Improvements. I never want to mention about richness if I talk about my journey as an expatriate in this young age. Some people always see me in different ways for a same reason. Sometimes I think they are narrow-minded, if I shouldn’t say they’re stupid. Richness or money is very personal for me, being such impolite to talk about. I’m doing my job like a headless chicken which they don’t know about it, they just look at outside-of-me. Without knowing everything I passed through each day. My job isn’t easy at all from the first day I worked until today. Nevertheless, I do proud to myself I could pass waves of obstacles.

Now I find myself asking the big “WHAT NEXT?” question, with a very big question mark. To be honest I feel like I’m standing in a right track but I find two different tiny paths in the front. If I keep walking to the right, it means I still work on this point, overloaded works, facing same stress, working on endless day and night, earn money every month, so many pricey plans scream to be real, etcetera. If I choose to walk to the left, it means that I have no clue about it. Where will I stay, what will I do, how can I keep my account stable, will I take my French class, how about big dreams on my ‘dream-box’ – they keep screaming to myself to be real, and so on.

But again, I am just a normal guy trying to figure out what’s next in life like anyone else does. Myself never have a doubt. I teach myself that there’s so many chances to grow in this life. So many doors open, me, as a person just need to find out, I don’t have to find the right door, I just need to try as strong as I possible can do. Being distinct, flexible, and ready to work hard such a formula to keep my wings fly high. I never afraid if my heart says I have to walk to ‘the left’ even I don’t know when my heart will tell me.

I never afraid to struggle back again to the lowest point of my career because for me, being adventurous is a key to stay hungry. Hungry in positive ways. And the most important thing for my next step are : I do know what I love, what my passions is, and where my passion as a creative person will find a higher next step.

I’m gonna attach lovely lyrics based on my point for this post, Im sure you know who sing the song :)

“I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly, I’ll do what it takes til’ I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun, but I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway…..”


P.S. Do not think this post is like a statement of mine that I will leave Africa soon even I do realize you will make a conclusion of this just a-resignation-letter-look-alike. :) As I said, I don’t know when I will drop everything, I just want to teach myself that : Don’t be a person who easily satisfied with what I’m having and stay at one point ever in a career, as long as I’m young enough to challenge myself I have to do it before OLD comes, that’s it. Ouch I think this is my first time I wrote in English for my personal post instead of Bahasa Indonesia.

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